• Understanding You

    I’m Faking It!

    All my life I wanted to be a fiction writer. I used to write fiction all the time and felt the need to try to get into fiction writing. I have learned that once I got into fiction class I wasn’t the best fiction writer. Let me tell you something… I gave my life to fiction. It was all I ever dreamed of and I thought that when I hit fiction class I was the bomb. I sat down in my uncomfortable wooden chair. I was ready for everyone to praise me for everything I did right. I was so excited for that moment to come. I sat with my…

  • Understanding You

    I Can’t Fictionalize Anymore

    I used to write fiction every day. I never thought in a million years that I would write about my real life. As I got into college my love for fiction faded away. I realized that I didn’t want to write it because I wasn’t that good at it. So I stopped writing fiction. It brings me no joy. I didn’t give up, I realized that I was writing it to become famous and not because I wanted too. My fiction was personal and wasn’t for everyone. I feel embarrassed to share it with other people. So when I shared it with my college class I felt violated. I didn’t…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Things I Like

    No Anxiety Medicine

    Since my dose on my anti-depressant was upped I have no need for my anxiety medicine as much. I used to take it twice a day but now I’m down to one. It’s feels great. You all know I don’t like taking my meds. I don’t like taking medicine period. I also don’t like the way it tastes. But since I see the results I feel better about it. Before I was too reliant on my anxiety medicine to the point I couldn’t go without it. It makes me sleepy, so when I want to get some rest I use it to knock me out. It’s like Benadryl for me.

  • Things I Like

    TV Is Good For You

    TV can be nostalgic and nostalgia can help people feel good and calm. I recently saw a Shirley Temple DVD commercial that put me in a great mood. I remember watching it all the time when I was a kid and I used to sing along just as I did when I saw it again. Most of the time I watch old tv shows. Before the huge controvesary, The Cosby Show was one of my favorites. I loved that family and they still hold a dear place in my heart. The show would come on at Nick @ Nite and they would play a few episodes. I would watch it…

  • Things I Like,  Understanding You

    Writing Is Therapeutic

    I gained the nickname “Writer Chick” from my mom because I write so much. I have a passion for it the same way some men do about football; in translation, I take it seriously. There has never been a time when I wasn’t writing something down. Expressing myself in words make me feel at ease. Anyone can understand me on the page if the did understand me when I speak. One thing I tried to do is to keep a journal, this was always an epic fail for me. I could never write down my day every day. I could, however, write down significant events, or strong feelings I couldn’t…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Things I Can’t Talk About

    I have a lot of things that have happened in my life that I am perfectly fine talking about. I can put almost anything out there, but somethings hold me back. Talking about certain things with my family and friends that make me uncomfortable. I recently published a post called “What Triggered My OCD.” I read the stats and saw that not too many people saw it and then deleted the post, the word document and deleted the trash. I was a little scared only two people saw it, but it was better than thirty. I am fearful of being judged for certain things in my life because I have…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    A Letter To Christians

    I love my Christian brothers and sisters with all my heart, but there is one thing I have to get off my chest. When I ask for prayer about my mental illness do not tell me I don’t have one. Both I and The Lord know that I have something wrong. I’m asking you to help me gain strength in my moment of weakness. Denying that anything is wrong won’t help me get better. I need you guys to understand that yes mental illness is a thing and yes I think prayer is the strongest medicine, but for weak minded Christians, this can send them over the edge. Please understand…

  • Understanding You

    Telling the Internet Your Secrets

    When I created Where the Tiara Fits, I didn’t realize that I was telling the internet all my secrets. The things I write in the blog I wouldn’t tell anymore in person. It’s weird because there are more people who will listen to you on the internet. Maybe because they can’t see me in person? I don’t know. One thing I don’t like to do in real life is talk about myself. I prefer to keep my life a secret. If we are really close I will tell you a few things but not a lot. I hate to be judged. But I think of my blog as therapeutic. Many…

  • Understanding You

    How This Started

    So what has been happening to me? I have been discovering myself as a writer and a person. While I was in college, I had an idea where I wanted to go, but couldn’t get there. I tried my hardest to figure something out, but I felt my brain wasn’t working. I was stuck. I didn’t know how to move forward doing anything. I wanted to stop and stay under the blankets and hide. I realized there was no logic in hiding, but that is what I knew how to do. Then I realized something else. I had a mental illness. In a way, it was holding me back, but…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    I Don’t Like K (Use a C)

    I don’t like the letter K. The letter K messes with my OCD. I feel it is an imitation of C and if I want C I want C. I don’t understand how this letter has somehow snuck its way into my life parading around like it’s the best thing ever. To be fair, the letter K is supposed to be in some words, like kitchen and ketchup. But words like Krispy, absolutely not. C is for crispy. Krispy Kreme is committing the ultimate sin. I don’t know why they decided to use this K, I guess they thought it looked nice. It’s annoying to see words subbing C for K.…