• Dealing With Stress,  Understanding You

    I’m Not Stressed

    For the first time in months, I am not feeling like I’m going to explode from the inside out. I have been stressed out my entire life trying to do everything at once. I have put standards on myself that are hard to upkeep. I didn’t know what it’s like to breathe, but I do now.  I always thought that it was something that people who were established did. I couldn’t enjoy life because I needed to be established. I’m learning to live and let live. I know that I’m not letting anyone down except myself. If I continue to put high standards on myself I feel I would have…

  • Understanding You

    Why I’m Scared to Date!

    I have finally realized why I don’t date. It was kind of like an epiphany. I never felt good enough to date any man. This is weird because I have been asked out by many guys. It wasn’t that these guys weren’t attractive or that they were weird. I was actually the weird one. I feel like a child. I feel that I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Well, the thing is that I don’t think anyone does. Relationships are complicated and about two people not just yourself. That’s the part I can’t move past. I’m still working on me. How can I deal with someone else…

  • Things I Like

    How to Feel Happy

    When you are feeling a little sad there is always a way to pick yourself up and pick a big smile on your face. First thing first, don’t ever put food into your mouth to feel happy. You don’t want the weight. I have been there and done that. I’m telling you the truth. Don’t do it. But every-so-often a cup of ice cream is good for the soul and I stand by that. But don’t eat it every day. Now since I have gotten that out of the way, let me tell you how I make myself feel better. For the past couple of nights, I have watched YouTube…

  • Understanding You

    Sorry Me

    My mom was getting rid of some old letters and pictures when I came also a young picture of myself. My mom had walked away, while I was alone I looked at the pictures and kissed the smiling girl in her pretty outfit. I told her this, “what happened was not your fault. You were young and didn’t know what you were doing. I forgive you. God forgives you. I placed the picture down with tears forming in my eyes. I wasn’t wrong. For so long I blamed myself for things that happened in my past. As you get older you understand what you have done wrong in the past.…

  • Healthy Living,  Understanding You

    Experiencing the Daniel Fast

    The Daniel Fast is something my mom partakes in every year and for the past six years, I have avoided it. I have fasted before for one or two days. I only drank water during those times. Other times I have only eaten after twelve or after three. So fasting is nothing new to me. So you’re probably wondering why haven’t I’ve done this particular fast? Well… The Daniel Fast is completely different than other fasts because it lasts for twenty-one days. During this time, you are only allowed to eat food that comes from the ground. That means no animals or animal by-products. So it’s vegan, right? No! It’s…

  • Understanding You

    My OCD Has Become a Crutch.

    I never wanted to think as my OCD as paralyzing, but it definitely happened. I leaned so much on my mental illness that I couldn’t move forward in life. Simple life tasks seemed hard because I refused to do them because of my OCD. My mom decided to be completely honest with me. Like any mother, she said what I needed to hear in love. I realized that my mental health was getting worse instead of better. The medication I’m taking didn’t seem to be working because I’m not letting it work. I was not getting better because I didn’t think I could. If I am being completely honest I…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Molestation Jokes Aren’t Funny. Period.

    I don’t know rather or not it’s the age difference but people over 45 see the world completely different than people under 45. Things don’t stick with them the same way. Or another way to put it they are not bothered by the same things younger people are. The #MeToo moment has became a big thing for a very obvious reason. Women are starting to speak up against sexual abuse. After being silent for years they finally have a voice. I am one of these women. So when someone makes a passive joke about molestation it bothers me. Because it’s not just a joke it is something that has happen…

  • Understanding You

    I’m An OCD Christian (This is What it is Like)

    Quite frankly as I have gone through my OCD problems I realized how hard my illness clashed with my faith. It was bad enough that I couldn’t stop worrying but at the same time, I prayed to a God I very much believed it. My OCD made our connect kind of weak, like very bad wifi. I went to church every week and listened to what God had to tell me, but at the same time, I couldn’t apply the information to myself. I wanted to fall into my compulsions and worries because to me it felt safer. Somehow safer wasn’t in the arms of The Lord. I felt bad…

  • Things I Like

    I Have the Best Lil Bro in the World

    I love having a little brother. He is the best dude in the world. He is one of my many rocks. I have three altogether. My brother Devin is a very chill person. He doesn’t say much and observes everything. He has an opinion and when you need it he gives it to you. His opinion is always honest and helpful. He makes a lot of jokes, but he is a teenager, so I can only expect so much. What I like most about him is that he listens. He tells me the truth and gives me advice as though he is my older brother. He is taller than me,…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Things I Like

    No Anxiety Medicine

    Since my dose on my anti-depressant was upped I have no need for my anxiety medicine as much. I used to take it twice a day but now I’m down to one. It’s feels great. You all know I don’t like taking my meds. I don’t like taking medicine period. I also don’t like the way it tastes. But since I see the results I feel better about it. Before I was too reliant on my anxiety medicine to the point I couldn’t go without it. It makes me sleepy, so when I want to get some rest I use it to knock me out. It’s like Benadryl for me.