• Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress

    It Will Be Alright

    This is a personal story I wrote a few years ago. I hope this story blesses someone and lets them know that they’re not alone. I knew nothing about depression. I ignored it and pushed it to the back of my mind because no one I knew was terribly sad. I was ignorant of depression. Every book I ever saw the word in was just a definition given to me by someone with a Ph.D. I couldn’t actually tell people how depression is caused but I couldn’t even tell people what it was. I thought it was stupid to get your emotions so worked up that you had to take…

  • Healthy Living

    OCD? Not Much.

    I was diagnosed with OCD over a year again. Since then I have changed a lot. I’ve been taking my meds every day and not skipping a day. I am happy to see the change in myself. I haven’t been as obsessed with the things I was obsessed with before. I haven’t been cleaning as much, by which I mean over-cleaning. My urge for cleaning is becoming closer to normal. I haven’t been anxious or overly anxious. I am learning to relax and calm down knowing everything will be alright. I have taken a break from therapy and applying my coping skills to anxiety raising situations. I know therapy is…

  • Understanding You

    Taking it One Day at a Time

    When I was diagnosed with OCD last year I wasn’t seeing much of my future. I was inside a bubble of fear, sure that nothing would ever change about me and that I was destined to be miserable for the rest of my life. The stability that I was going to gain didn’t seem logical and logical thinking was something that I had never really done anyway. My life felt as though it was going around and around and if the cycle was going to break I would to not only have to act different but think different. When your mentally ill your thoughts tend to overtake your life and…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress,  Things That Bother Me Badly

    Losing Hope in Yourself

    I listened to a sermon about hope. I never thought much about the word. I assumed that it was something that people relied on when they were in dire need. But hope was more than that. To have hope is to have a feeling of expectation of something to happen. Well, I didn’t know what I expected to happen within myself. I wanted to achieve so much in my life that I haven’t stopped to think when I was in the now.  I didn’t expect a lot of myself anymore because I kind of gave up. I did the one thing you’re never supposed to do. I broke the ultimate…

  • Uncategorized

    How I began to Understand My Late Night Snacking

    Recently I haven’t been able to sleep. Since I’ve been up I’ve been pacing downstairs in the kitchen thinking of things to write and what tasks I have to do next. All of this should be done during the day, but it’s not. I’m up working and it’s way past anyone’s bedtime. While I was up I began to get hungry and ended up making sushi at one in the morning. After midnight I should be tucked in my covers but I find it rather hard to fall asleep during that time. I get a random boost of energy around eleven o’clock anyway. I have tried some different sleep aids…

  • Understanding You

    Why I’m Scared to Date!

    I have finally realized why I don’t date. It was kind of like an epiphany. I never felt good enough to date any man. This is weird because I have been asked out by many guys. It wasn’t that these guys weren’t attractive or that they were weird. I was actually the weird one. I feel like a child. I feel that I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Well, the thing is that I don’t think anyone does. Relationships are complicated and about two people not just yourself. That’s the part I can’t move past. I’m still working on me. How can I deal with someone else…

  • Understanding You

    Being Stuck in Hurt

    When we are hurt a lot of the time we want to dwell in what hurt us. Even if no one wants to admit that they think about the negative, I will admit it. Over time I have become a negative person because I dwell so much in past hurts. I experienced a lot of trauma as a little girl. I have memories of things I would like to not remember. These events have affected the way I treat people and how I feel about myself. So I can honestly say that I’m stuck in my past hurt. I realized that if I’m stuck in hurt then I’m not healing.…

  • A Day in the Life

    A Letter to Dee

    Names have been changed for privacy reasons. Dear Dee, I sometimes wonder how you are. I haven’t seen you since our high school graduation. You were always so gloomy and your mind adrift. I never thought about how you felt. I never cared until now. I treated you bad because I was annoyed that you always had problems in your life. I had never meant someone with so many issues. I remembered I told you “there is always something wrong with you.” I’m sorry for saying that. That was mean and uncalled for. You needed someone to listen and I didn’t want to. Kia listened to you, but she also…

  • Understanding You

    My OCD Has Become a Crutch.

    I never wanted to think as my OCD as paralyzing, but it definitely happened. I leaned so much on my mental illness that I couldn’t move forward in life. Simple life tasks seemed hard because I refused to do them because of my OCD. My mom decided to be completely honest with me. Like any mother, she said what I needed to hear in love. I realized that my mental health was getting worse instead of better. The medication I’m taking didn’t seem to be working because I’m not letting it work. I was not getting better because I didn’t think I could. If I am being completely honest I…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Molestation Jokes Aren’t Funny. Period.

    I don’t know rather or not it’s the age difference but people over 45 see the world completely different than people under 45. Things don’t stick with them the same way. Or another way to put it they are not bothered by the same things younger people are. The #MeToo moment has became a big thing for a very obvious reason. Women are starting to speak up against sexual abuse. After being silent for years they finally have a voice. I am one of these women. So when someone makes a passive joke about molestation it bothers me. Because it’s not just a joke it is something that has happen…