• Dealing With Stress,  Understanding You

    I’m Not Stressed

    For the first time in months, I am not feeling like I’m going to explode from the inside out. I have been stressed out my entire life trying to do everything at once. I have put standards on myself that are hard to upkeep. I didn’t know what it’s like to breathe, but I do now.  I always thought that it was something that people who were established did. I couldn’t enjoy life because I needed to be established. I’m learning to live and let live. I know that I’m not letting anyone down except myself. If I continue to put high standards on myself I feel I would have…

  • Healthy Living,  Understanding You

    Experiencing the Daniel Fast

    The Daniel Fast is something my mom partakes in every year and for the past six years, I have avoided it. I have fasted before for one or two days. I only drank water during those times. Other times I have only eaten after twelve or after three. So fasting is nothing new to me. So you’re probably wondering why haven’t I’ve done this particular fast? Well… The Daniel Fast is completely different than other fasts because it lasts for twenty-one days. During this time, you are only allowed to eat food that comes from the ground. That means no animals or animal by-products. So it’s vegan, right? No! It’s…

  • Understanding You

    My OCD Has Become a Crutch.

    I never wanted to think as my OCD as paralyzing, but it definitely happened. I leaned so much on my mental illness that I couldn’t move forward in life. Simple life tasks seemed hard because I refused to do them because of my OCD. My mom decided to be completely honest with me. Like any mother, she said what I needed to hear in love. I realized that my mental health was getting worse instead of better. The medication I’m taking didn’t seem to be working because I’m not letting it work. I was not getting better because I didn’t think I could. If I am being completely honest I…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Molestation Jokes Aren’t Funny. Period.

    I don’t know rather or not it’s the age difference but people over 45 see the world completely different than people under 45. Things don’t stick with them the same way. Or another way to put it they are not bothered by the same things younger people are. The #MeToo moment has became a big thing for a very obvious reason. Women are starting to speak up against sexual abuse. After being silent for years they finally have a voice. I am one of these women. So when someone makes a passive joke about molestation it bothers me. Because it’s not just a joke it is something that has happen…

  • Understanding You

    Getting Your Family to Help You

    When my mom found out I was OCD she was the most supportive person in the house. My brother was on board, but my dad didn’t grasp what was going on. I couldn’t explain to him what it meant to be OCD. He didn’t know anything except for what my mom and I told him. But even though my mom is supportive, she doesn’t really know what OCD is either. I always feel bad for the stress I cause my mom when I have a mental break down. There is no way to explain to her how I truly feel. She kind of gets it because she is depressed, but…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Things I Like

    No Anxiety Medicine

    Since my dose on my anti-depressant was upped I have no need for my anxiety medicine as much. I used to take it twice a day but now I’m down to one. It’s feels great. You all know I don’t like taking my meds. I don’t like taking medicine period. I also don’t like the way it tastes. But since I see the results I feel better about it. Before I was too reliant on my anxiety medicine to the point I couldn’t go without it. It makes me sleepy, so when I want to get some rest I use it to knock me out. It’s like Benadryl for me.

  • A Day in the Life

    They Upped My Meds

    Recently I got my medicine upped. It wasn’t a shock. I knew my meds were strong enough even though I had them upped once before. Recently I’ve been calm, very calm. I didn’t realize this was a thing. If this is what other people feel like, I needed this a long time ago. What I like the best it is that it keeps me asleep. I have trouble sleeping so this is perfect. This is a big change talking positively about my medicine. I had been fighting it since the beginning, but now I’m starting to see the good that can come out of it. I guess I can say…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress,  Things That Bother Me Badly,  Understanding You

    I Had A Mental Breakdown

    I had a mental breakdown today. Yes, ironic that I didn’t follow my own advice, but I was really in my feelings. I have a hard time dealing with change. It becomes my downfall a lot of times. My parents are the best at helping me, but it’s taking the help that is the problem. I know that it is easy, but I find it hard to move forward. So what happened to me today? I went to the psychiatrist to get my prescription. I go about every two months. The medicine normally lasts me all the way to then. Today as I sat down across from my psychiatrist I…

  • Healthy Living

    My Healthy Living

    When you start off eating healthy you question what all you can eat. The answer is everything but in moderation. I started a couple weeks ago eating only at home and cutting out most sweet drinks and fast food. I didn’t think this was possible until it was. Eating healthier is the key to having a healthy body and a healthy mind. When you eat right, you don’t worry about your weight or how you look in clothes. When I started eating better I waited until about a week to get on the scale. It didn’t move. My mom told me that eating healthier is good and all but the…

  • Understanding You

    Let Me Wash My Hands Please

    If I were to rank my compulsions hand washing would be at the very top. I wash my hands more than twenty times a day and most of the times are unnecessary. Washing your hands too much removes the good germs from your skin. Actually, you need the bad germs too. My hands don’t feel clean unless I have them in clean water and soap. The water was to be burning hot. I need for my hands to feel clean so that I won’t have that tingly feeling on my hands. It’s a feeling that happens when I touch something I feel is unclean. I’m sure everything is unclean, but…