• A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress,  Things That Bother Me Badly

    Losing Hope in Yourself

    I listened to a sermon about hope. I never thought much about the word. I assumed that it was something that people relied on when they were in dire need. But hope was more than that. To have hope is to have a feeling of expectation of something to happen. Well, I didn’t know what I expected to happen within myself. I wanted to achieve so much in my life that I haven’t stopped to think when I was in the now.  I didn’t expect a lot of myself anymore because I kind of gave up. I did the one thing you’re never supposed to do. I broke the ultimate…

  • Dealing With Stress,  Understanding You

    Ask Him Questions

    I sat next to my small group leader in an aluminum chair listening to young women share their experiences living in Christ. I remember when I first got saved I felt invincible. There was nothing that could touch me because my BFF was Jesus Christ. Everything was amazing, my friends all went to church and they were on board, life was easy. It’s hard for me to say great because I did meet resistance. Not everyone had a positive experience being a Christian. I learned this years later going through college and meeting people who were scarred from past wounds of losing someone or feeling as though God had failed…

  • A Day in the Life

    Jesus Let Me Break My Fast

    So I prayed to have Christian friends and my prayer was answered. I was more than happy to have the company of warm and friendly people. I think everyone needs friends. Since my mom was doing the Daniel Fast and I epically failed after one day (look it was hard!) I decided to fast something else for twenty-one days: eating out, sweet drinks, and alcohol. This was easier than the Daniel Fast but not by much. I love Coke! I was determined to do this. I had fasted fast food for twenty-five days. But this fast was very different. I really carved everything I couldn’t have. After a couple of…

  • A Day in the Life

    Trying Small Groups Again

    I have been going to my church for almost two years. I have interacted with some people, but I’m not, sure enough, people know my name. I wanted to be the person that people knew, but I had to interact with people. I really didn’t know how to do that. I would have to go to events, but even then I didn’t know who to hang out with. The people I knew were already in cliques. It was the problem that everyone faces when in a social gathering. The best way is to just try to hang out with people, but it just seemed weird. So my church gave the…

  • Understanding You

    My Older Brother Hurt Me

    I don’t talk about my brother anymore. He stopped coming around when I was fifteen. I was content with that and so was my mom. My mom had never been a fan of him, but he never wanted to try with her. He only saw her as the woman married to our dad. She was more than that. She’s my mother and he never respected her. I believed he hated her. When he was younger he would do things to try to harm her. When he couldn’t harm her physically he would try to make our dad and my mom argue. He would tell lies to his mom to make…

  • Healthy Living,  Understanding You

    Experiencing the Daniel Fast

    The Daniel Fast is something my mom partakes in every year and for the past six years, I have avoided it. I have fasted before for one or two days. I only drank water during those times. Other times I have only eaten after twelve or after three. So fasting is nothing new to me. So you’re probably wondering why haven’t I’ve done this particular fast? Well… The Daniel Fast is completely different than other fasts because it lasts for twenty-one days. During this time, you are only allowed to eat food that comes from the ground. That means no animals or animal by-products. So it’s vegan, right? No! It’s…

  • Understanding You

    I’m An OCD Christian (This is What it is Like)

    Quite frankly as I have gone through my OCD problems I realized how hard my illness clashed with my faith. It was bad enough that I couldn’t stop worrying but at the same time, I prayed to a God I very much believed it. My OCD made our connect kind of weak, like very bad wifi. I went to church every week and listened to what God had to tell me, but at the same time, I couldn’t apply the information to myself. I wanted to fall into my compulsions and worries because to me it felt safer. Somehow safer wasn’t in the arms of The Lord. I felt bad…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    A Letter To Christians

    I love my Christian brothers and sisters with all my heart, but there is one thing I have to get off my chest. When I ask for prayer about my mental illness do not tell me I don’t have one. Both I and The Lord know that I have something wrong. I’m asking you to help me gain strength in my moment of weakness. Denying that anything is wrong won’t help me get better. I need you guys to understand that yes mental illness is a thing and yes I think prayer is the strongest medicine, but for weak minded Christians, this can send them over the edge. Please understand…