• Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress

    How My Stress Caused Me to be Sick

    I am convinced that I am the worst at handling stress. At the drop of a hat I can stress out and the worse part is I make myself sick. I get a headache and can’t get rid of it. It’s hard to shake and Advil can’t help it. It sucks, but I know there has to be a better alternative than to just stress out. But my stressing out is also relating to my overthinking. I don’t know how to clear my mind. For me it starts with anxiety and then it turns into stress. The worst part is my medicine doesn’t really help. I wish it did. Sometimes…

  • Anxiety

    How to Deal with Anxiety

    Anxiety is something that everyone experiences. Even though some people have higher anxiety than others, people still need help calming down when they feel their hearts are in their throats. Calming your anxiety is hard. I used to let my anxious feelings take over. While I panicked nothing was being solved. I have was going around in circles and life was not stopping. I had to learn, to not panic and move on. Don’t focus on what is not happening or what should be happening. I knew that deep down inside I couldn’t control everything although I wanted to. Control is what kept me happy, but you can’t control everything.…

  • Understanding You

    Why I’m Scared to Date!

    I have finally realized why I don’t date. It was kind of like an epiphany. I never felt good enough to date any man. This is weird because I have been asked out by many guys. It wasn’t that these guys weren’t attractive or that they were weird. I was actually the weird one. I feel like a child. I feel that I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. Well, the thing is that I don’t think anyone does. Relationships are complicated and about two people not just yourself. That’s the part I can’t move past. I’m still working on me. How can I deal with someone else…

  • Understanding You

    I am my father.

    Everything that annoys me about my dad I tend to do to other people. I find it funny that I get annoyed with myself. There is no explanation for how that works. But I  know my dad and I always have to have our way. I can never again complain about the things he does wrong because I will do it and sometimes worse. He is more charming when he convinces people and I use all of my emotions. I can never deny DNA because everything he does I do too. So my complaints about my father make no sense because we are the share we just have different ways…

  • Understanding You

    My OCD Has Become a Crutch.

    I never wanted to think as my OCD as paralyzing, but it definitely happened. I leaned so much on my mental illness that I couldn’t move forward in life. Simple life tasks seemed hard because I refused to do them because of my OCD. My mom decided to be completely honest with me. Like any mother, she said what I needed to hear in love. I realized that my mental health was getting worse instead of better. The medication I’m taking didn’t seem to be working because I’m not letting it work. I was not getting better because I didn’t think I could. If I am being completely honest I…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Molestation Jokes Aren’t Funny. Period.

    I don’t know rather or not it’s the age difference but people over 45 see the world completely different than people under 45. Things don’t stick with them the same way. Or another way to put it they are not bothered by the same things younger people are. The #MeToo moment has became a big thing for a very obvious reason. Women are starting to speak up against sexual abuse. After being silent for years they finally have a voice. I am one of these women. So when someone makes a passive joke about molestation it bothers me. Because it’s not just a joke it is something that has happen…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Bugs Make Me Anxious

    When I was a little girl my house was infested with roaches. This went on for about a few weeks or so. My parents tried to fix the situation themselves knowing little about how bad the infestation truly was. It had gotten so bad, that I had a roach crawl up my arm when I was brushing my teeth. I’ve never forgotten that. The whole situation traumatized me so bad that to this day I can’t kill a roach. I have to hype myself up to do it and even then I can’t do it. They are so ugly and crunchy. I hate the crunch and I hate picking them up. I…

  • Dealing With Stress,  Understanding You

    Mom Stress = My Stress

    When I was little I always paid attention to my mother when she cried. I never thought mommies could cry, but I learned at a young age. My mother’s pain was something I took on because I wanted my family to be perfect. If I took on her pain then I could understand her and help her get better. I know that I should not worry about my mother’s problems, but my OCD kicks in. I want a perfect family. When my mom is upset I feel as though the perfect family is falling apart. My mom is not good at hiding her feeling and I have watched her go…

  • Understanding You

    What it’s Like to Be Depressed During Christmas

    I never knew that I had depression until I was twenty-two years old. The year before I remember sitting in my bedroom with my big pretty Christmas tree and I was in my room thinking about dying. I couldn’t snap out of it. I figured it was my birth control, so I stopped taking it, I later found out it was not the cause. I couldn’t pinpoint why I was feeling so melancholy. It was the most joyful time of the year. I wasn’t going through anything, my family was in a great place and I had just finished the first quarter of my senior year. Christmas is more depressing…

  • A Day in the Life

    Don’t Look it Up

    As a person with OCD, I tend to look up a lot of things because I over think everything. This may not sound that bad but when you have a bump on your lip or your eye hurts you begin to panic. Panicking does nothing for you except put you in a world of worry. Worry causes you to spiral out of control. I’ve been there and I remember the suffering I caused myself. So here is my advice. Don’t look up your ailments on the internet; it’s not worth it. If you research the bump on your arm you will think you have cancer. The funny part is, it’s…