• Things That Bother Me Badly

    When Allergies Attack

    I have suffered with allergies all my life so it isn’t a big deal to be congested or to sneeze a ton. I’ve been doing it since I was little. I personally hate when pollen comes to stick around because that’s when everything goes down hill for me. I would rather just have a three day cold than to have allergies for weeks on end. I mean feel like I’m sick, but I’m not. But I have decided to hide in the house. It does absolutely nothing expect not expose me to more pollen. There isn’t enough medicine I can take to make myself feel better. I was actually doomed…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress,  Things That Bother Me Badly

    Losing Hope in Yourself

    I listened to a sermon about hope. I never thought much about the word. I assumed that it was something that people relied on when they were in dire need. But hope was more than that. To have hope is to have a feeling of expectation of something to happen. Well, I didn’t know what I expected to happen within myself. I wanted to achieve so much in my life that I haven’t stopped to think when I was in the now.  I didn’t expect a lot of myself anymore because I kind of gave up. I did the one thing you’re never supposed to do. I broke the ultimate…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Molestation Jokes Aren’t Funny. Period.

    I don’t know rather or not it’s the age difference but people over 45 see the world completely different than people under 45. Things don’t stick with them the same way. Or another way to put it they are not bothered by the same things younger people are. The #MeToo moment has became a big thing for a very obvious reason. Women are starting to speak up against sexual abuse. After being silent for years they finally have a voice. I am one of these women. So when someone makes a passive joke about molestation it bothers me. Because it’s not just a joke it is something that has happen…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Bugs Make Me Anxious

    When I was a little girl my house was infested with roaches. This went on for about a few weeks or so. My parents tried to fix the situation themselves knowing little about how bad the infestation truly was. It had gotten so bad, that I had a roach crawl up my arm when I was brushing my teeth. I’ve never forgotten that. The whole situation traumatized me so bad that to this day I can’t kill a roach. I have to hype myself up to do it and even then I can’t do it. They are so ugly and crunchy. I hate the crunch and I hate picking them up. I…

  • A Day in the Life,  Things That Bother Me Badly

    Just Say Merry Christmas

    I get annoyed when people pretend like it’s not Christmas. I know that they didn’t forget because they are standing in a room with garland hanging over their head. I walk around in my Christmas gear spreading cheer and they I meet that one person who looks at me like I committed a cardinal sin. Celebrating Christmas is fun and cheerful. Some of the people you meet are past the Grinch but bah humbug. I don’t know why some people are miserable during this time, but I don’t think it’s because everyone has depression. I think that people want to spread their misery throughout the year. If they are not…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly,  Understanding You

    I’m Not A Snob. I Have OCD.

    I can’t explain myself anymore. People who don’t understand OCD don’t get why I turn up my nose at the sight of their dirty house. I can’t help but show my emotion on my face as I have to eat off of partly cleaned plates. I can’t get those thoughts out of my mind. I decide not to eat or to drink. I only keep to myself not wanting to hug or touch anyone. People get so offended. Unfortunately, these things are hard to explain to others. I know that it’s not really them, but they don’t know that. They don’t know that dirt on my skin irritates me. They…

  • A Day in the Life,  Anxiety,  Dealing With Stress,  Things That Bother Me Badly,  Understanding You

    I Had A Mental Breakdown

    I had a mental breakdown today. Yes, ironic that I didn’t follow my own advice, but I was really in my feelings. I have a hard time dealing with change. It becomes my downfall a lot of times. My parents are the best at helping me, but it’s taking the help that is the problem. I know that it is easy, but I find it hard to move forward. So what happened to me today? I went to the psychiatrist to get my prescription. I go about every two months. The medicine normally lasts me all the way to then. Today as I sat down across from my psychiatrist I…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    Things I Can’t Talk About

    I have a lot of things that have happened in my life that I am perfectly fine talking about. I can put almost anything out there, but somethings hold me back. Talking about certain things with my family and friends that make me uncomfortable. I recently published a post called “What Triggered My OCD.” I read the stats and saw that not too many people saw it and then deleted the post, the word document and deleted the trash. I was a little scared only two people saw it, but it was better than thirty. I am fearful of being judged for certain things in my life because I have…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly,  Understanding You

    Meet Me in the Middle

    When I see my aunt she always gives me this one piece of advice, “meet people where they are.” For me, this is difficult to follow through on. I hold everyone to a high standard that is impossible to reach. When I do something I give 1000%, and I expect everyone else to do the same. The thing is, I struggle to hold my own standards. So, how can I expect people to give so much when I can barely do as much? I aim for perfection every single time and it’s impossible to reach. Perfection is inhuman and since I’m human I struggle to grasp it, but I still…

  • Things That Bother Me Badly

    A Letter To Christians

    I love my Christian brothers and sisters with all my heart, but there is one thing I have to get off my chest. When I ask for prayer about my mental illness do not tell me I don’t have one. Both I and The Lord know that I have something wrong. I’m asking you to help me gain strength in my moment of weakness. Denying that anything is wrong won’t help me get better. I need you guys to understand that yes mental illness is a thing and yes I think prayer is the strongest medicine, but for weak minded Christians, this can send them over the edge. Please understand…