Understanding the Hard Stuff

My parents have been married for twenty-five years and though those years I have seen many things. Anyone who has both their parents or remember a time when their parents together knew there were those rifts in their marriage.

It’s hard to see the people you love go through something that seems unsolvable. You wonder what you can do to help the situation and how can you prevent it from happening again. People who have divorced parents may not have to endure the hardships of having to watch your parents go through it.

No matter how old you get, it always feels bad. No one wants their parents to divorce. You can’t control other people so you can’t control how they run their lives. So how can you help yourself feel better about something so chaotic?

First, you realize that there is nothing you can do. This is the hardest thing to realize. You can be supportive of your parents and that’s all you can do.

Next, you have to stay unbiased no matter the situation. If you pick one parent’s side over the other, you will go to resent the other parent. I’ve done this before and almost ruined a relationship with one of my parents.

Talk to someone you trust. Sometimes you have to speak out about your parents’ arguments and fights. They can talk a toll on you. Seeing a therapist would be the best bet. Therapists are always unbiased and give great advice.

Do talk to your parents individually and tell them how you feel. Don’t make them feel bad. Show that you are concerned. There is nothing worse than bottled up feelings; they’re unhealthy.

Just know that you are not alone in these situations and many people face them too. There is nothing wrong with wanting your parents to be together.

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