I never wanted to think as my OCD as paralyzing, but it definitely happened. I leaned so much on my mental illness that I couldn’t move forward in life. Simple life tasks seemed hard because I refused to do them because of my OCD.
My mom decided to be completely honest with me. Like any mother, she said what I needed to hear in love. I realized that my mental health was getting worse instead of better.
The medication I’m taking didn’t seem to be working because I’m not letting it work. I was not getting better because I didn’t think I could. If I am being completely honest I wasn’t trying to do anything, but take my medicine. I was used to doing things my way because that is the way I was comfortable with.
Here’s the thing about letting your mental illness become a crutch, you stay in the same place and never move. If you do move you go in circles. I am going round and round. By doing so I’ve been making life hard not just for myself, but for my family also.
To move forward, you have to get out of your own way. You can’t hold onto your mental illness for it is not helping you nor is it trying to help you. The best thing to do is to let go of things or people that enable you. Also, stop doing things that make you feel comfortable. I know for sure that washing my hands make me feel better. I know that I need to stop because washing my hands excessively does nothing for me.
Change doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time. I know for sure that I can’t change all of me at one time. As my dad tells me “one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.”