When I was little I always paid attention to my mother when she cried. I never thought mommies could cry, but I learned at a young age. My mother’s pain was something I took on because I wanted my family to be perfect. If I took on her pain then I could understand her and help her get better.
I know that I should not worry about my mother’s problems, but my OCD kicks in. I want a perfect family. When my mom is upset I feel as though the perfect family is falling apart. My mom is not good at hiding her feeling and I have watched her go through so much.
I don’t think my mom meant to reflect her stress, but she is a very emotional person and needs support. I mean I can never let someone I care about to sit there and cry. It breaks my heart.
So my mom told me that I don’t have to take on her stress. I will try, but it’s hard to stop doing something you have done your whole life. I stress out just as much and sometimes more when I see her going through a lot. I will try to not let it get to me as much.