For one it’s embarrassing. Your crying and everyone is asking what’s wrong. You don’t want to tell them. You also don’t want to admit to your trigger. You absolutely don’t want to say someone hurt your feelings even if you caused them too. You don’t want to take responsibility. It hurts and it’s hard to get people to understand.
If you’re like me the holidays bring back memories of trauma. I’ve had a lot of things happen to me around this time. I get really sensitive. It’s no fun and it’s no fun for people to see me cry.
So when my dad and I go into it. I broke down. All the memories came flooding back and I couldn’t explain it. I just cried and cried. I didn’t want to eat with my family. I was too embarrassed to say anything.
My aunt had a pep-talk with me and I didn’t feel any better. I asked her to get my mom and this happened. My mom pointed at me and said,
“You will have a damned good Thanks Giving.”
She said it really stern. I was scared of her. I hadn’t had that type of fear since I was eight. I listened. I got myself together and enjoyed Thanks Giving. I apologized for my breakdown and began to get over it with Black Friday Shopping.
Though the experience sucked I learned a lot. I learned about myself and prepared to do better in the future.