I never thought I would meet someone in an abusive relationship. Relationships are supposed to be healthy and bring joy to a person’s life. When a person is drastically changing and staying away from their family, that’s when there is a problem. It brings a lot of emotional stress to the people around the person they love so much. We all hate to see that person fail or get hurt.
I have a relative who couldn’t even stay during a Christmas Eve party because she wanted to get to her boyfriend. As her family, we were all upset, but we really didn’t know what we could say, so we figured out the things not to say.
1. Don’t yell at the person.
Yelling just makes them feel angry like you don’t understand them and what they’re going through. Show them respect and compassion, that’s what they need. If they feel respected, then it would avoid fights. They might even talk more about the way they feel.
2. Don’t tell off their significant other.
This one is an absolute no. Do not yell at the spouse or partner. You will upset your family member more. You won’t solve anything by telling off their partner. Worse comes to worse the police can get involved or somebody could get hurt.
3. If your family members are being harmed…
Don’t make them feel stupid for being in the relationship. Never say I told you so. No one should feel condemned for their mistakes. Keep them safe. Have calm conversations with them. Talk to them about better options. Call the police if their life is in serious danger, don’t try to solve the problem by yourself.
4. Don’t stop loving the person.
Love would get anyone through anything. Show the person you respect their decisions and most of all pray for them to have an understanding. If you show them you can love them through anything, they may want to leave what is doing them no good.
Don’t lean into your feeling because it won’t do any good. Understand that everyone has feelings.