No one understands compulsions. For starters, it’s hard to explain OCD to people period. A lot of the stresses that you go through most people think you should just get over. It’ hard to explain to people why you jump over cracks in the floor or why you only enter through doors on the left and never on the right. Those things make us feel better.
Being around people that see you do this often isn’t a big deal. Family and friends who know you and your habits are used to you, but what do you do when you are around people who don’t know your habits?
One of my main compulsions is cleaning. I wipe down surfaces and wash my hands often. I’m so used to sanitizing things that my family is used to the cleanliness of the house. If they smell bleach, they know it’s me. Bleach and I are besties and we will be for life.
But when I go out of town and visit relatives, they tend to not be as clean as I would like. I will go back and clean the bathroom and I will not touch things I not sure are sanitized. I can’t get comfortable in certain people’s houses. This is why when I’m offered food I don’t eat it and drinks I don’t drink unless it comes out of a can. This may seem rude to some people, but I can’t bring myself to do it.
My stomach turns and I think of all the germs. My family thinks I’m stuck-up because of this but really, I’m just doing my compulsions. I can’t hide them because then I feel I will have a breakdown. I realized with my family there is no reason in explaining because they don’t try to understand me and continue to think I’m snobby; so I let them think that and I openly clean their houses.